James Ellison: Robocop
by vashsunglasses
Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?
1. Worst Day Ever!

Title: James Elison: Robocop

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: M

Fandom: The Sentinel/Robocop

Disclaimer: Neither "The Sentinel" or "Robocop" belong to me and I make no money off of this homage to two very amazing works of fiction.

Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?

* * *

It was shaping up to be a very bad day for Blair Sandburg. He'd started the morning off late for his class due to a malfunctioning alarm clock. By the time he got there, the traditional "15 minute" rule had been invoked and there wasn't a single student to be seen. So he'd spent the time cooling his heels and pondering how long it would take for the department chair to catch wind of what happened.

As it turned out, he hadn't had to wait long and the reaming out he received still echoed in his ears as his car stalled out half way back to his home in the warehouse district. He knew nothing about cars except for aesthetics, and his pleading looks at drivers by seemed to fall flat. No one wanted to help the curly haired man in the patchwork vest… but he really couldn't blame them. He knew exactly what kind of person he looked like, and it wasn't an upstanding citizen of the state.

After an hour of alternatively cursing and kicking his car, mother nature herself decided to give him a big middle finger. It began to rain. "Shit!" he snapped as he felt his curls plaster themselves to his head with the moisture. "Somebody hates me up there!" he yelled towards the dark grey clouds, "And whoever you are," he continued, pointing his middle fingers towards the sky, "I hate you too. Fuck you!"

The sky choose to respond with a particularly nasty (and close) thunderbolt.

It occurred to Blair that perhaps it was time to find shelter. He grabbed his keys and wallet and trudged through the rain and puddles towards a bus stop he could see in the distance. At least, he thought it was a bus stop. From his distance it looked sort of like the standard bench/overhang combination common to bus stops… "If that isn't a bus stop," he muttered, "I'm totally going to go ballistic."

After a few more minutes of walking (and getting splashed by cars) he made it to the honest to goodness bus stop and sat down gratefully under the overhang. Out of the rain at last, he had a moment of peace before he felt the muzzle of a gun press into the wet mane of his hair.

"Give me all the money in your wallet or I'll blow your brains out, you hippie freak," spoke the tense voice at his back.

Blair did so, and hoped that the twelve dollars and thirty three cents he had to his name would pacify the guy. It didn't and when he awoke from unconsciousness laying in a puddle on the sidewalk in front of the bus stop his head was aching and bleeding from where the butt of the mugger's gun had stuck him in the temple. He picked up his soggy wallet from the pavement and was suddenly very happy that he had taken the time to purchase a bus pass. With the loss of his money he would have been totally screwed without it.

It was almost an hour later when a bus finally pulled up to the stop. Since the busses ran hourly he had a dark suspicion that the last bus had pulled up while he was laying unconscious on the sidewalk… and then left him there. Nice.

Two transfers and several hours later he finally walked into the warehouse he lived in. His head was still killing him, but the blood had thankfully stopped flowing a while ago. He knew he should go to the hospital, but he couldn't afford it. A Band-Aid and some Tylenol would have to do.

Blair sat down in front of his TV with a beer and decided to spend the rest of the day vegetating to his favorite sports team. It was at that moment that the wall behind the TV exploded. Blair and the couch he sat on were flung backwards in the blast and for an instant he saw the blur of the TV as it flew past his head like a missile. Then, for a time, there was only silence, and darkness, and choking dust.

The silence was periodically broken by short bursts of automatic gun fire in machinelike precision. Ba-ba-ba-ba… Silence… Ba-ba-ba-ba… Silence… Ba-ba-ba-ba… Silence.

Blair had just begun to collect his bearings when a tall figure walked jerkily out of the settling dust towards him. When he came close enough to be recognized Blair felt his mind short circuit, "Oh holy shit, that's Robocop." he thought blankly. He had seen him on the news, but he never in a million years had expected to see him in person (never mind have him walk out of the ruins of his newly blown up wall).

Robocop stopped next to Blair and looked down at him through his visor, "Citizen, are you injured?" he said in a robotic voice.

Blair continued to blink helplessly at the cyborg who towered above him, "Uck…" he choked, then coughed out a wad of dust and saliva. "Yuck," he said, wiping his mouth with a grimace, "That's totally disgusting, I'm sorry man."

Robocop didn't move an inch, just continued staring down at him. "Do you require medical assistance?" he asked flatly.

Blair rose shakily to his feet, steadying himself on Robocop's arm, then flinching back a little at the cold surface. "I think I'll be alright," Blair replied as he surveyed the ruins of his home in steadily rising despair.

"You have a wound on your temple," Robocop said, staring at the wound that was partially hidden underneath a Harry Potter Band-Aid.

Blair's hand snapped up to cover his injury. "I'm fine," he snapped. "I don't need any medical assistance."

"I will call emergency services," Robocop replied, completely ignoring Blair's denials, "Wounds to the head can be particularly dangerous if not treated as soon as possible."

Blair crossed his arms over his chest, "I am not going anywhere! I can't afford to go to the emergency room! I'll be fine."

"Emergency services have been contacted and an ambulance will arrive at this location in an estimated four minutes, twenty three seconds. Please wait for their arrival, they will tend to your wound." Robocop said.

Blair hissed in displeasure and decided to make a break for it. After all, they couldn't charge him for anything if they couldn't catch him! He turned towards the far exit and sprinted towards it as fast as he could, dodging debris as he went. The nausea and dizziness hit him suddenly with startling speed about halfway there and he ended up sprawled on his knees on the cold cement floor, projectile vomiting and wishing he would die. As he vomited he could hear steady metallic footsteps coming up behind him and then stopping mere inches away. Metallic hands steadied him, and then pulled him to his feet once his stomach had settled, closing firmly around his upper arms. Blair vaguely mused at how strange it was that the tight hold actually made him feel safer instead of trapped. He subconsciously leaned back against the metal breastplate behind him as he spoke, "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" he asked softly.

"Negative," Robo replied somewhere a little above the top of his head.

He could have been imagining it, but Blair thought that, just for a second, he could hear genuine emotion in Robocop's voice. It was tantalizing, and the anthropologist in him had to know more…


	2. What's your name?

Title: James Elison: Robocop

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: M

Fandom: The Sentinel/Robocop

Disclaimer: Neither "The Sentinel" or "Robocop" belong to me and I make no money off of this homage to two very amazing works of fiction.

Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?

* * *

_Metallic hands steadied him, and then pulled him to his feet once his stomach had settled, closing firmly around his upper arms. Blair vaguely mused at how strange it was that the tight hold actually made him feel safer instead of trapped. He subconsciously leaned back against the metal breastplate behind him as he spoke, "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" he asked softly._

"_Negative," Robo replied somewhere a little above the top of his head._

_He could have been imagining it, but Blair thought that, just for a second, he could hear genuine emotion in Robocop's voice. It was tantalizing, and the anthropologist in him had to know more…_

"Tell you what," Blair said slyly as an idea began to grow in his mind, "Let's make a deal. I'll quit trying to run away and I'll submit to medical treatment… But you have to promise to visit me in the hospital at least once."

Robocop was so silent and motionless in his stance behind Blair that Blair worried that he wasn't listening to him. Perhaps he had imagined that small hint of humanity…

"Affirmative," Robocop said suddenly, breaking his silence.

Blair twisted as far as he could in Robocop's tight grip and gave the cyborg his fullest grin, "Sweet! Thanks man, I promise you totally won't regret it." He could hear the unmistakable sound of an ambulance in the distance and thought mournfully of the damage this little trip would do to his pocketbook. 'But don't forget,' he thought to himself, 'it's a small price to pay if I'm able to pull this off. I know people who would kill to be in the position that I'm in now, and I'm not going to let it go to waste!'

* * *

"So you came after all!" Blair said from his hospital bed. He had been diagnosed with a concussion and the beginnings of a viral infection and was thus forced into staying for at least 48 hours.

Robocop continued to stand in the doorway and said, "We made a deal."

"Well, what took you so long?" Blair said, "Did you have to go fight crime someplace else between then and now?"

"The warehouse where you were living was not registered in the database under your name. I therefore had to go to the archives in order to ascertain your identity-"

"Oh jeeze!" Blair said, slapping the uninjured side of his forehead, "I didn't tell you my name did I? I am so, so sorry man! Here I twist your arm to get you to come visit me, and then I make you run all over the place trying to find out my name!"

"Apology accepted, Blair Sandburg," Robocop replied.

"Cool. Now quit looming in my doorway like that, it's creeping me out. Come in already, and shut the door behind you." Blair said.

Robocop did so, shutting the door and walking forward so that he was standing about a foot away from Blair's right left hand.

Blair reached his right hand across his body and held it towards Robocop, "We haven't introduced ourselves properly. I'm Blair Sandburg…" he paused and looked from his still empty hand to the motionless Robocop, "…and I'm kind of waiting for you to shake my hand. You know, handshake?"

There was a momentary pause, then Robocop slowly reached forward and took Blair's hand in a slow but firm handshake.

Blair grinned and pulled his hand out of the cyborg's grip, "Nice grip big guy! So do you have a name, or is it just Robocop?"

Robocop froze, his hand still dangling over Blair's body. A long minute went by, with an increasingly worried Blair anxiously counting the possible damages he could be charged for breaking the most advanced human/cybernetic hybrid in the world.

"I…I do not know," Robocop said suddenly, haltingly. "I do not remember…" He turned and began to walk towards the exit.

Blair panicked, "Wait! Don't leave yet!" He dove out of bed and latched onto Robocop's arm frantically. Robocop stopped and looked down at him coldly.

"The visit isn't over yet!" Blair panted dizzily, "You promised a whole visit and it isn't done yet!"

Robocop dislodged Blair's grip from his arm, giving him a considering look as Blair leaned against the doorframe for support, "…I will make you a deal," he said finally, mimicking Blair's own previous words.

Blair stared up at him in astonishment.

Robocop continued, "If you will go back to your bed and continue your treatment without protest, I will visit you a second time."

Blair gaped at him. This was even better than he had imagined… Robocop was so much more than he had imagined, "Ok," he said finally, "You've got a deal."

Immediately Robocop turned away and began walking down the hallway towards the elevators. Blair watched him go.

"Wait! At least tell me where you're going!" Blair cried out.

Robocop replied without stopping, "I am going to the archives in search of my name."

* * *

Blair had a dream. He found himself standing in a deep blue jungle, so thick with life he could almost feel it pushing against his skin. A gray wolf stood before him and their eyes met. "Go," it said without words. "Follow," it said without sound. "Seek," it said without breath.

"Who do I Go to?" Blair asked. "Who do I Follow?" Blair asked. "Who do I Seek?" Blair asked.

Again the gray wolf met his eyes, "Go to the one who Needs you," it said without words. "Follow the one who Leads you," it said without sound. "Seek the one who Seeks you," it said without breath.

"Who is the one who Needs me?" Blair asked. "Who is the one who Leads me?" Blair asked. "Who is the one who Seeks me?" Blair asked.

The gray wolf directed it's gaze to a barely discernable, overgrown path leading into the jungle. "Go," it said without words. "Follow," it said without sound. "Seek," it said without breath.

And so Blair ran from the clearing onto the path.

* * *

Blair woke up in his hospital bed. For a moment he had a sense of being in two places at once. Of running through the jungle and resting in a bed. But then the feeling faded, and with it the dream faded as well. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized he had been asleep for several hours. He pushed the button to bring the bed up to a sitting position and used the remote to turn on the television attached to the opposite wall. He hoped that Robocop would return soon, they had so much to discuss. 


	3. Hospitals Suck!

Title: James Elison: Robocop

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: M

Fandom: The Sentinel/Robocop

Disclaimer: Neither "The Sentinel" or "Robocop" belong to me and I make no money off of this homage to two very amazing works of fiction.

Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?

* * *

_Blair woke up in his hospital bed. For a moment he had a sense of being in two places at once. Of running through the jungle and resting in a bed. But then the feeling faded, and with it the dream faded as well. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized he had been asleep for several hours. He pushed the button to bring the bed up to a sitting position and used the remote to turn on the television attached to the opposite wall. He hoped that Robocop would return soon, they had so much to discuss._

* * *

Early morning television was complete crap, and Blair didn't know how much more he could take. Infomercials, soap operas, talk shows, and reruns of that stupid sitcom that everyone but him seemed to love. 'I'd buy that for a dollar,' had to be the most ridiculous punch line ever invented. Sometimes he daydreamed about the things he would do to the guy who invented that line if he ever got 5 minutes alone with him. Oh! Or better yet, maybe he could sic Robocop on him! Yeah… He smiled wickedly for a moment, drinking in all the delicious possible tortures that Robocop could inflict on that clown. 

At that moment the nurse came in and saw Blair smiling at the sitcom rerun and said, "Oh, I love that show too! It's just so funny."

Blair's face fell. Damn, why did everyone always assume that he was like them in eating up that ridiculous shit! "Damn, crappy, shitty…" he muttered to himself, "fu-"

"Mr. Sandburg," the nurse interrupted, "are you alright?"

He pasted a sarcastic smile on his face and nodded, "Oh yeah, everything's fine. It's just that all of a sudden, just after you came into the room, I got a huge headache and felt really sick to my stomach."

The nurse didn't pick up on the sarcasm, "I'll tell the doctor how you're feeling," she said, finishing her check of his vitals and trotting perkily out of the room. "I'd buy that for a dollar!" she exclaimed to herself as she passed into the hallway.

Blair could hear her idiotic laughter trailing away and gritted his teeth. Normally he would have been all over her with the flirty talk, but after that display of pure idiocy she was nothing to him… Less than nothing. Still, she did have nice legs…

* * *

As the hours passed Blair could feel his IQ dropping into the abyss. Flushing right down a huge toilet. If there was a Hell, he'd have to say that it involved an eternal hospital stay. He'd only been there less than a full 24 hours, yet he was already considering asking the staff to have him humanely euthanized, "Like a dog," he thought, "Please just kill me and put me out of my misery…"

* * *

It was a few hours later and Blair growled with frustration at the utter boredom he was feeling, "Where the heck is that big metal jerk anyway?" he hissed bitterly. He was filled with the urge to run far, far away, to leave the hospital in the dust and move somewhere where the word 'hospital' wasn't even invented yet. But he couldn't do that, not if he wanted the chance to write the first ever dissertation on a cybernetic/human hybred. 

He listened as hard as he could for the distinct metallic footsteps that would signify, Robocop's return. Surely he'd be along any minute…

* * *

The sun was going down and so far Robocop was a no show. Blair was in the bathroom for what felt like the thousandth time that day due to all the fluids they kept pumping into him with the IV. It felt like gallons of the stuff was pumped into him and he wondered momentarily if he had more IV fluid than blood flowing through his veins. As he was pondering how much IV fluid the human body could take at one time, he heard faint metallic footsteps approaching his room. "I knew it!" he said sardonically, pulling up his disposable hospital underwear and then pulling up his hospital pants and tying the drawstring, "I knew he'd come while I was going to the bathroom! It's like karma or something, it never fails…" 

He grabbed his electronic IV stand and wheeled it through the bathroom door and back into his room. He bent over to plug his IV back into the wall socket so that it wouldn't continue to run on battery power, and when he looked up, Robocop was again standing in his doorway. "Um… Hey man," Blair said as he climbed back into his bed, "Long time no see." He waved his arm vaguely at Robocop as he used his remote to turn off the TV, and Robocop responded by coming into the room, shutting the door behind him, and standing right next to Blair's bed as he had done before. "So how did your investigation in the archives go?" Blair said, turning his full attention on the cyborg, "Did you find out your real name?

Without shifting at all, Robocop seemed to slump slightly, "Negative. All files pertaining to "Robocop" are classified."

"Damn!" Blair cursed. "I'm so sorry man, I'd really hoped you would be able to find out who you were before all this…" he waved his arm at Robocop's body to emphasize his point. Blair pondered everything he knew about Robocop, (which was very little, admittedly) then began to speak his thoughts aloud, "Maybe we're going at this from the wrong angle. Maybe instead of researching Robocop, we should be researching who you were before. Like, I mean, treat your old self as a John Doe that needs to be identified… What do you think?"

"I think you may be correct, Citizen Sandburg," Robocop replied.

"Call me Blair," Blair returned sternly.

"Blair," the cyborg parroted.

"Remember that from now on!" Blair said, folding his arms across his chest, "We're friends now, and friends use first names to address each other.

Robocop's head tilted inquisitively, "Friends?"

"Of course we're friends," Blair said a little frantically, though he was trying to hide it, "Why else would you visit me in the hospital?" he swallowed, a little obfuscation never hurt anybody, "And we have such nice conversations and stuff, right?"

"Friends," Robocop said slowly, "We are friends…"

Blair nodded, his hair flying around in a halo of curls. "And since we're friends now," he continued, "I'm going to help you figure out your identity."

Robocop's head snapped back upright, "Negative," he said firmly.

Blair shook his head sadly, "I hope you change your mind on that, big guy. You see, since we're friends and all, I have an obligation to help you. And that means that as your friend, as soon as I get out of this hellhole, I'm going to go out there into this dangerous city and research your identity… With or without you." He bowed his head and hid his growing smirk behind his hair, while continuing to speak wistfully, "I'd really hate to get maimed or killed while out there researching your identity all alone, but as your friend-"

"You will accompany me on this investigation, Blair," Robocop said firmly and with a touch of uncharacteristic heat.

Blair slapped his hand over his mouth as his smirk grew into a wicked grin. Everything was going according to plan. But what Robocop said next took the grin right off his face.

"I know that you are smiling, Blair."


	4. Bags?

Title: James Elison: Robocop

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: M

Fandom: The Sentinel/Robocop

Disclaimer: Neither "The Sentinel" or "Robocop" belong to me and I make no money off of this homage to two very amazing works of fiction.

Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?

* * *

"_You will accompany me on this investigation, Blair," Robocop said firmly and with a touch of uncharacteristic heat._

_Blair slapped his hand over his mouth as his smirk grew into a wicked grin. Everything was going according to plan. But what Robocop said next took the grin right off his face._

"_I know that you are smiling, Blair."_

* * *

Blair wasn't looking forward to putting on his dirty clothes from the explosion, but as far as he could see, it was the only way of getting out of the hospital in anything other than scrubs.

He looked at the soot covered clothes with distaste and reached his hand into the bag to pull them out. A robotic hand gripped his wrist and removed his hand from the bag. "Negative," Robocop said firmly, "Those garments are unsuitable."

Blair's head snapped up, "Then what am I supposed to wear?" he asked sarcastically, "I'm not walking out of here in scrubs!" Then he noticed the shopping bag hanging in Robocop's other hand. His eyes widened in shock, "You went SHOPPING?!"

"Afirmative," Robocop replied.

The thought of Robocop walking through a local Wal-Mart picking out clothes made Blair want to simultaneously laugh out loud and screech in horror. He settled for being insanely curious. "Wow, so you went to Wal-Mart and bought me clothes?" he asked breathlessly, reaching for the bag.

Robocop let go of the bag and turned his back, "Please change your garments so that we can leave this establishment as soon as possible," replied, and Blair could swear that he was actually changing the subject. "I want to get this investigation underway as soon as possible, Blair," Robocop said.

Blair changed into the clothes that Robocop had brought him. It was simple stuff, a bag of socks, some underwear, sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but it fit Blair perfectly. It wasn't stylish, but it was doable, at least till Blair got the chance to go out shopping on his own. He cringed, thinking of the hit shopping for a whole new wardrobe would take on his pocketbook. "You can turn around now," Blair said, "I'm done getting dressed."

But instead Robocop began to walk out the door, "Hey!" Blair said, "Wait up!" he ran to catch up, grabbing his belongings and dropping them into the shopping bag on the way out. "Geeze!" he grumbled, walking next to the cybernetic hybred, "Impatient much?"

Robocop turned his head without pausing his in his walk and gave him a look.

Blair threw his hands up apologetically, "Ok, ok! I get it. I'd be impatient too if I didn't know who I was!"

They reached the elevator and when the doors opened the people inside were so startled to see Robocop standing there that they ran out of the elevator. Robocop ignored them and entered calmly. Blair stood beside him as the elevator began it's decent, shifting impatiently from leg to leg, "So where're we going first?" he asked.

"To your warehouse," Robocop answered flatly.

Blair's eyes widened, "What's my warehouse have to do with your identity?"

"Nothing," Robocop replied, "We are going there so that you may collect your belongings. There was much damage, but some of your possessions survived the explosion and subsequent fire."

Blair was stunned. This was so much more than he had ever imagined. For Robocop to actively take such an interest in his life and wellbeing was simply stunning. It totally belied any suggestion that Robocop was nothing more than a machine. He showed initiative, creativity, even stubbornness, and the way he was able to pick up on Blair's own ways of manipulation and turn them around on him was beyond belief. Blair prided himself on understanding the human organism, and there was no doubt in his mind that whoever Robocop was, or however he came to be, he was human.

* * *

Blair had a dream. He was running down a path through a deep blue jungle. He was running, and the earth was chalky beneath his feet, and the leaves around him were as blue as a pair of eyes that he had never seen but would recognize anywhere.

He was running through a sea of blue, slashing through an ocean of blue butterflies, stumbling into a lake of sky and clouds. Everything was so blue. And he heard the cry of a wolf. And he heard the cry of a panther. And the jungle was blue and he ran.

* * *

Blair woke up in his hotel room. After a fruitful search of his ruined warehouse home had turned up most of his belongings undamaged (though reeking of smoke), Robocop had taken him to a hotel and checked him in for the night. Blair had been too tired to argue, but he had extracted the promise that Robocop return to him the next day to start the investigation.

Slowly it dawned on Blair's sleep muddled mind that someone had been steadily knocking on his door for a while. He got up out of bed, and put his hand to his temple at the momentary dizziness as the blood rushed out of his head and his vision fogged slightly. Wincing at the miniature headache that came as his brain adjusted to his standing position, he walked to the door in and opened it, not the least bit surprised to see Robocop standing on the other side. Though the cleaning lady goggling at him from down the hall seemed very surprised indeed if the way her jaw was hanging open was any indication…

"Come on in!" Blair said cheerfully, holding the door wide open as Robocop walked past him into the room. "Just give me time to get take a quick shower and get dressed, and then we can be on our way."

Robocop held up a small bag dangling in his hand.

"Wow, another bag huh? What's in it this time?" Blair said thoughtfully.

"Breakfast," Robocop said. "It is more efficient for you to eat it in the room before we leave."

Blair smiled, taking the bag, "You're a good friend, you know that?" Robocop was so definitely human, Blair thought to himself gleefully.

* * *

**Note:** Next chapter will have actual PLOT in it. Amazing huh? 


	5. Hotel Blues

Title: James Elison: Robocop

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: M

Fandom: The Sentinel/Robocop

Disclaimer: Neither "The Sentinel" or "Robocop" belong to me and I make no money off of this homage to two very amazing works of fiction.

Summary: AU. Before Blair could meet Jim, Jim was brutally murdered in the line of duty and reborn as Robocop. Will finding his Guide help Jim reclaim his humanity?

Note: You know it has been a long time since you've updated when you have to read the entire fic over again just so you can remember where you left off… And then I had to rewatch RoboCop too, but that wasn't a hardship.

* * *

_"Come on in!" Blair said cheerfully, holding the door wide open as Robocop walked past him into the room. "Just give me time to get take a quick shower and get dressed, and then we can be on our way."_

_Robocop held up a small bag dangling in his hand._

_"Wow, another bag huh? What's in it this time?" Blair said thoughtfully._

_"Breakfast," Robocop said. "It is more efficient for you to eat it in the room before we leave."_

_Blair smiled, taking the bag, "You're a good friend, you know that?" Robocop is so definitely human, Blair thought to himself gleefully._

Blair entered the small hotel bathroom and closed the door, dropping the food bag on the counter and taking a moment to dance a manic jig across the beige tiles. Since his research on Sentinels had stalled out he had become increasingly desperate for a new topic for his dissertation. An exclusive expose on Robocop would not only get him his Doctorate, but it would also open a lot of doors.

He stopped mid flail as the sounds of Robocop's presence in the next room met his ears with a crash as what sounded like the lamp by the bed fell over. His first thought, 'Wow, he's kind of clumsy for a super-cop' was followed up by 'What the hell have I been thinking? He's not just a guinea pig!' He winced, wrapping his arms around himself as his mind warred between 'The recognition I deserve' and 'But he trusts me' before coming to a stop on 'Standing around isn't going to help anyone." He stripped quickly and got into the shower, shutting the glass door firmly behind him. It was better not to think.

The water was icy cold when he turned it on, but he didn't hesitate. He'd already wasted enough time with his stupid dance. He used the tiny generic hotel soap to suds himself up as best as possible then let the water rinse it off of him while he attacked his hair. There wasn't nearly enough shampoo in the microscopic bottle provided and the bland chemical smell made the insides of his nostrils itch. As soon as his body was soap free he shut off the water, stepping out of the shower and drying himself off. It was at that time that he realized that he hadn't brought a change of clothes into the bathroom with him.

"Way to be on the ball there Blair," he cooed to himself sardonically. He blushed self-consciously as he left the bathroom, holding a towel around his waist. He needn't have bothered as Robocop didn't even look up from where he stood frowning down at the remains of the broken lamp. He tried his best to ignore the rising feeling of dread that came at the thought of having to pay for the lamp and pulled on the first articles of clothing he could find, which happened to be a pair of well worn jeans and turtleneck.

"So, anyway…" Blair winced as his voice broke the silence. Robocop turned to look at him, "Last night I was thinking. Even though it's obvious that Omni Consumer Products probably knows everything about you, the chances of the two of us getting anything out of them are less than nil. I mean, look at us! I've been told that I look like a 'neo hippie witchdoctor punk', and you're… Um… Well, you're you." He searched the cyborg's face for hurt feelings and was surprised to see the slightest hint of amusement. He decided to ignore it and cleared his throat, "What we should do, is go to the police station Everyone knows the cops are in bed with OCP. You can walk around the building looking scary and I'll watch everyone's faces to see if anyone looks guilty! And when we find a guilty person I'll give the signal and BANG," he punched his fist in the air, "you shake them down till they tell you all they know!"

"Shake… them… down…?" Robocop repeated blankly, tilting his head to the side and tensing his lips.

Blair grinned, shaking his dark brown hair out to hide the shaking of his hands, "Yeah, because, like, um…" he frowned for a moment in thought, then pasted the grin back onto his face when it came to him, "It's kidnapping! Or, er, brainwashing! Because man, you are so totally being used in illegal ways by some seriously… ethically… morally… deficient people! What they did to you is wrong." 'And I am so totally going to pretend my little moment in the bathroom didn't happen,' he finished in his mind.

Robocop said nothing.

"Umm," Blair said, fiddling with his hands nervously, "Wrong as in illegal? Cuz you're a cop and it's your job to arrest evil people, right?"

"Affirmative," Robocop agreed, "Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Uphold the law. ( … ) Those are my directives."

Blair gawked, "They actually gave you directives? Wow, that's like so Asimov of them."

"Blair," Robocop said suddenly.

"Yeah big guy?" Blair asked.

"It has been a very long time since I entered this hotel room," the cyborg replied.

"Ha ha ha, oh yeah! Whoops," Blair said with a laugh, "how about I take the food with us and eat it in the car?" He grabbed the bag that felt wondrously heavy, then walked out the door, making sure to hook the 'Do not disturb' sign on the knob on the way out. 'There was no way I'm going to pay for that lamp if I can help it,' he thought as he waited for Robocop to catch up with him.


End file.
